my broken HEART

he told me he likes me
but i knew it better
i know his heart is not free
because he's in love with another

i know he's in love with someone else
it's hard for me to forget him though
it's only him that my heart tells
but what can i do? my chances are low

the pain sears in my heart like a knife in my flesh
he's still here in my mind and heart
the pain brought by the heartache was still very fresh
he's the only one for me ever since the start

i want to go, i want to flee
but you know how much he means to me
i can't bear to be away from him
eventhough all the sweet memories was nothing but...a dream.

not easy being ME

An indelible past stamped on my memory, coming back to play across my mind at unexpected moment. I simply hate my past, it is a complete heartache. I left with no choice but to look ahead. What can i say...? It is all been written. No one like to be betrayed or get hurt by a person they love most.

I really hope the past will be gone forever....but i know it is impossible. I will only live the past behind the moment i shut my eyes for the very last time.

Never will i go thru' such obstacles again. Im happy now juz would like to retain this happiness till the end.

Happy Bday Duni

18 September 2007 was Duni's 12th bday. Duni was one of my Dear's favourite cuz.

I was working on that day while Dear juz came back from his first off day. As usual Dear die die won't go out on his first off day, he will spend quality time shape up his bod. Nah....I'm really use to it, cant blame him as he juz came back from 24hr shift.

I msged Dear remind him to call Duni as it is her bday. As norm, i will be the operator on Dear's behalf. The reason why i refused to call becos i was BROKE hahaha....Dear, insist me to call instead. NOT FAIR! Well, doesn't wanna argue told him will call Duni later maybe after break fast.

Last year, Dear bought for her Billabong bag. Still remember when Dear gave her the bday gift Dear said, '' 3 yrs u cannot ask for anything(juz joking...he do mean it at times)," he will tell me the same phrase each and every time he bought for me anything. "Dear, im use to it, u will still get me those stuff that I WANT *winkz*.'' Heard from Dear's mom that this year Duni wants Adidas watch. Gosh...Juz got for her younger sis pink Adidas watch last June. I like the white one.. Cool..

After breaking my fast i called Duni and wished her Happy Birthday. I didnt asked what she want but i told her, ''abg Dino will get for you a belated bday present,'' she acked. We hung up after i wish her all the best. She's having her PSLE this year, Insyallah...she can make it.
Haha...Dear gonna scold me for telling Duni that he will be getting a belated bday present for her. Sorry Dear..that's the reason why i refused to call her in the first place.

Dear told me he will not get anything for Duni. WAIT!! Duni called him on the 19th. This time Duni wants Baby G watch as her parents already bought for her the Adidas watch, purple color i guess. Well...as usual, Dear repeat his fav phrase again but after being persuaded, Dear agreed to it. Duni is a swit gerl...shy too. Dear...she deserve it, just get for her the Baby G watch and NOT to forget mine too *winkz*

Joke of the Day!

An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.

The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"
So they stripped and sat down at the table again. Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my breasts are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your oatmeal and the other's in your coffee!"

my LIFE...

My life how its changed, but who can I blame?
emptiness and heartache is its given name.
My hope and my dreams, were once far and wide
Did you once Stop and think how I was feeling inside?
It used to be full of laughter and wonderful days,
but night after night I continue to pray,
and god give me the strength to live every day.
My heart racing as I lie in my bed,
with tears in my eyes and sad thoughts in my head,
these are the days that I always will dread.
This horrible pain as it breaks my heart every day,
its pain and emptiness, that has come along my way.
I've tried so hard and eager to please,
only to find emptiness such a nasty disease.
Its love and comfort thats all that I need
but my heart breaks in half and has started to bleed.
All I want is love you don't have to ask,
I did not realize this was a difficult task.
My love has always been there, its easy to find
all you have to do is look back in your mind.
I will not give up, I won't bail out of the ship,
I'm strong, and determined to continue this trip,
I won't feel sorry for what happend in the past, but my undying love will forever last.....